All for the love of the game.

Life is beautiful, life is scary, life's a bitchbut isn't it a wonderful thing?

I know i've had my head up my own arse the last week or so but I'll get there. At the moment I'm just so in love with life...
I'm beautiful, powerful and i can do anything i want.
I'm going to dance on the mountains on the moon, I'm going to trip the light fantastic  
across the sun...
I'm destined to be happy.
Life is what you make it...so I'm going to make it mine.  I went out and got drunk tonight
and I cried, I cried until I thought I couldn't cry anymore but then I had a chance
meeting with a servant of God and I realised so what if I'm disposable? Because we're all disposable. I can still have fun and be what I need to be. i can't really explain what got me
to this point but I know noe that really it's just a game. It has no rules but the one's that we ascribe to it. playing, and being played, is so liberating. When you work it out it's all about power plays. our whole lives are built on a subtle interplay of dominance and submission and it doesn't need to be obvious either. The power struggle is inherent, we're rarely ever on a equal footing with others. I've realised sometime's it's worth loosing the battle to win the war and sometimes, however hard you try, you can't win the war so you limp off to lick your war wounds and then get back on the horse and charge into yet another fight.
Yes i fall in love to easily, I'm always trying to find that "perfect" relationship...but i can dream can't I? i can hoope that the age of romance and chivalry isn't dead. I don't care how many times I get kick down, I'm gonna get up everytime and be that little bit stronger.
I lay my hand on the table and pay the price.